My old life died. This is my new life.

Here’s the low-down on what’s been going on in Laura-Town:

~ I finally accepted that I have Aspergers.
~ I started Homeschooling my three kids.
~ I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease
~ I embarked on a strict gluten-free diet to lower the level of antibodies that are attacking my thyroid
~ I got my busy-ness in order!

 

I want to rewind and show you what my life was like back in September 2017.

Life. Was. Busy.

I had three kids in school, a cosmetic direct selling company which I lead over 200 sellers and leaders. I was sitting pretty at 3rd from the top and heading towards my next promotion.

I was attending events, met the founders of Younique, assisted in team training and organised Sweetheart (my team) get togethers.

Not only that, I spent every waking moment on my phone. Either messaging prospective customers, following up with existing ones, chasing orders, answering team questions or dealing with dramas in the teams. I look back and see that it was not uncommon for me to speak to over 100 people in one day. And I thought I loved it.

I spent all my time with my kids rushing them from A to B. “Hurry up! Get in the car! We’re going to be late for school!” Id say. When I pick them up it would be “Quick! Quick! It’s time for martial arts!” My five year old would ask me to play a game with him and I would be tapping away on my phone not looking up while muttering “not now sweetheart, mummy’s busy”

I was working while I made dinner. I was texting while sitting next to the bath with the kids playing. I was editing videos during reading time. I took selfies while the kids brushed their teeth.

I was a vacant mother.

You know why? Because I have this ability to completely go tunnel-vision on things I am interested in. Younique became my special interest and everything – and everyone – just got pushed aside while I focused on my business.

It took my dad dying to realise that I didn’t want to do it anymore.

It took my kids getting disciplinary action to see I don’t spend enough time with them.

It took me months of chest pain, fatigue, weight gain and a whole other host of symptoms to finally get tested and find I have an actual disease. It wasn’t just me going crazy.

So, I kind of realised that really rubbish, awful and sometimes down right EARTH-SHATTERING events need to take place to wake us up and help us on a better path.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d give ANYTHING to have my dad come home through the front door and say “Just kidding! Got you all fooled didn’t I!” But I see how losing him has started big, important, Necessary changes in my life.

I see that there really is a plan out there for me!

So here’s a little glimpse into my life now:

I wake up with the kids. We play in the attic (playroom) and yes, a lot of the time that means I am playing Fortnite with my 8 year old. Or Mario with my 5 year old. My 7 year old shows me the latest Minecraft mods he’s interested in and creates new skins for his characters.

We eat breakfast and sometimes get dressed for the day, often we don’t get dressed until a bit later. My oldest son takes the dog out and feeds her. There is laughter, there are questions, there is banter and conversation…there is no phone in my hand. I look into my kids’ eyes and for the first time in a long time I truly see them.

I was told by the school that two of my boys were behind and not very bright. My oldest son can write the most engaging and professional recipe card on Choco Krispie cakes that I’ve ever seen. And my five year old can already build an entire town on Minecraft and unlock secrets I never knew about.

My oldest son was bad at maths apparently. Yet he can multiply decimal numbers, use number squares, he knows his Roman numerals and can recite the seven times table (thanks to my fun song I taught him the other week.)

Before the kids were home schooled, they literally ran away from me to avoid getting involved with chores. Now, they come up to me and offer to help. (Sweep the floor, empty the dishwasher, fold laundry or hoover the carpets)

I have my mum living with me and she laughs and jokes with the boys, giving them love and hugs which makes my heart happy. We talk every single night and she is a beacon of strength. Sometimes she cries on my shoulder and sometimes I cry on hers. We are best friends.

And ok, so I can’t eat normal bread or pizza anymore…and surprisingly, soy sauce (unless I get the special gluten free one!)

And yes…I quit my business and exchanged a full-time income for a blog that literally pays me nothing but self-satisfaction that my words are getting out in the world and some people may actually be reading them…

But guess what, when my husband comes home each night I throw my arms around him and my heart wants to burst with love. Savouring every moment I have with him.

I spend so much quality time with my boys, who are my pals. My buddy’s. My best mates.

And I have my Mum with me every step of the way.

I feel blessed. So, very very blessed.

So when you are going through hell, just breathe and get through it. Your old life is dissolving but get ready for your new one…it just might have some beautiful changes that make you happy.

Laura

Xoxox

4 thoughts on “My old life died. This is my new life.

  1. This has really made its way into my heart Laura 💗 I’m so happy for you! It’s so true, sometimes our whole world falls apart, but it makes room for a new world, and that’s the circle of life (to steal from a Disney movie lol). It’s painful and beautiful. I’m still ‘in progress’ but getting there.

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  2. loved this. good for you Laura! all you need sometimes is just time out to spend with your nearest and dearest xx

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  3. Hi Laura, I’ve just discovered your blog….Facebook has been doing strange things and I checked your site to find out why I wasn’t seeing you any more….well now I know! You’ve had a really tough life changing year. Losing Brian was a terrible shock and a huge loss, but it’s amazing how you have responded to that by turning your life around after evaluating what’s important to you. It’s strange isn’t it, when you put so much into a career and it becomes like family, that it can disappear in a nano second, and you’re left wondering what that was all about? It takes time, but from my own experience, life becomes a lot richer when you adjust to your new life and have so much more time for those who are really important to you. You’re doing so well to school your boys and look after your Mum, and also recognise the value of taking time for yourself. Take care…..I shall miss those reunions that Grandad used to organise whenever we were in the UK, because it was the only chance I had to meet you all. Love Avis xxx

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