I could write a whole book about having a positive self-body image, and maybe one day I will go ahead and write that book – but for now, you’ll have to settle for some quick highlights. These are my Laura tips on how to look – and feel – beautiful.
Take this advice as you would if your older sister sat down next to you, draped her arm around your shoulders and shared some wisdom. I’m not a psychologist, counselor or doctor. But I am a woman who has dealt with body-image struggles; like body dysmorphia and had to deal with criticisms from other people for the best part of twenty years.
A few years ago, I got really sick. Sick and tired in fact.
Sick and tired of constantly thinking I wasn’t good enough and listened to the nonsense spouted out of the mouths of others.
Yo-yo dieting became the norm. I’d lose 15 lbs. Then within a year, put it all back on. I over-analyzed every lump, bump, wrinkle, and imperfection I had. As women, are we not conditioned to do so?
Are we not taught that there are parts of our body that must defy gravity and other parts that need to be as smooth as butter? We need curves, but only in the “right” place. And we need to be healthy, yet fit into single digit dress sizes! We are supposed to be cheerful and friendly, but iron out any laughter lines they leave behind.
Oh, the list goes on.
If you’re nodding along like Churchill (The nodding dog advert can be seen here) Then read on, my friend. Because I have put together a fool-proof system that protects, fortifies and nourishes body-confidence so that it doesn’t matter what
idiot anyone says to you, you can walk around and embrace yourself with a positive body-image that will allow you to live a more fulfilling life.
There are 6 Categories:
Brain – Language – Posture – Attitude – Appearance – Acceptance
Brain Games – Train your brain to be kind!
Scientists are finding that the brain can not disassociate virtual reality from reality. And in a Ted Talk by Tony Robbins, he says that the brain does not know if the statement you make is true or false.
I’ll give an example statement: Why am I fat?
Your brain does not know if you’re fat or not. It won’t reply with “Don’t be daft, you’re not fat!”
It just exists to serve YOU and your thoughts. So…if you ask yourself, “Why am I fat?” your brain will come up with whatever answers to validate your statement. You are fat.
“I’m lazy, I eat too much, I’m not losing weight,” might be some examples of responses that your brain comes up with.
SO. A really fast and effective method to use is to change the question. “What can I do to feel more healthy?”
“What is the most beautiful part of my body?”
“How can I show more appreciation for myself?”
Ask yourself better questions. Make positive statements in your mind. The changes that will come as a result will be HUGE.
Talk the Talk
When you look at other people, you need to look for reasons why they are beautiful. I am a firm believer in seeing the beauty in others. Someone has a weird looking nose? As an aspie, I recognize these things. But it doesn’t turn into judgment. It’s not like I think “oh she has a big nose, she’s ugly.” Not at all. The more you train yourself to identify good qualities and beautiful aspects of others, the easier it is to identify it in yourself.
There’s an old saying that goes, “You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first.”
Compliment freely. Praise openly. Make it a mission to verbally uplift other people. It’s true when they say “what goes around comes around.”
Walk the Walk
When I did gymnastics as a teenager, the best skill I learned (other than doing the splits, which is such a fun party trick.) is how to walk with confidence. Great posture does wonders for the way you feel and the way you look. Shoulders down, back straight, breathe from your diaphragm. It sucks in your stomach without you having to actually suck in your stomach (lol) and the body language makes you look like a woman oozing with confidence and self-worth. This is great for making a good first impression at a job interview, on a date or I don’t know, meeting someone famous?
You deserve respect, right? We are all pretty hot on making sure we receive respect. But respect comes from you, first. So, ask yourself what ways can you show yourself more respect?
Whenever you have thoughts about yourself or want to banter with friends at your own expense, just have a think about what it is you’re saying and whether it shows you respect.
For example: “I’m so stupid,” “Oh, I’m just an ugly lump of worthless fat,” or “Nobody want’s to spend any time with me.”
Don’t they sound harsh!!? You wouldn’t think that about other people, would you? (If you would, I think you need to work on your attitude!)
BE KIND, to yourself. Always. Do NOT give other’s permission to put you down, but attacking yourself first.
Some people tell me, “But Laura, I do it to protect myself, I put myself down so it doesn’t hurt when other people do it,”
Well, do you know how crazy that sounds to me?
Imagine you’re a cavewoman, and there’s a huge circle of cavemen with their spears around you…if you use the same philosophy, you’d take a knife and stab yourself multiple times shouting “hahaha, you can’t hurt me now suckers!” and then manically laugh as you bleed to death.
People are going to mean, or they might not be. But putting yourself down is going to kill your confidence. Just don’t do it.
Dress to Impress
Wear clothes that FIT.
Do not SQUEEZE into a size 12 pair of jeans, just because you can go parading yourself around saying “hey, check me out, I can fit into my old jeans.”
Firstly, say hello to your new friend IBS.
and Secondly, you look, squished.
You actually look slimmer wearing clothes that fit you comfortably, even if they’re a size bigger than wearing a smaller size that hardly fastens at the waist.
Research your body shape and google what styles of clothes suit your figure. There is no right way and wrong way to be. Your body is, what it is, and you can make the most of it by dressing comfortably and confidently. I have a small waist so I love wearing A-line dresses to make the most of my figure. If I wear a poofy t-shirt, I look a lot larger than I am!
Fall in love with yourself
Look in the mirror each day and identify what you love about yourself. Do your eyes sparkle in the sunlight? Does your cheek dimple when you smile? Do you have cute wrists? A pretty birthmark? Maybe you like your hair or the freckles on your arms?
Find what you like. Then discover what you love. Embrace who YOU are today.
Is it a work in progress? Of course, nobody is perfect! But what makes you beautiful is SO much more than your figure. It’s not about how big your lips are. Or how long your nails are. Obviously, I’m an advocate for expressing your personality and creativity, so, by all means, do what you gotta do to feel fun and confident. But the important thing is, to accept who you are TODAY and celebrate who you will become tomorrow.
I hope this helps you know how to look and feel beautiful!
The bottom line is: no matter what size and shape you are, you are absolutely beautiful. I know it, now it’s time for you to know it too.
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One thought on “How to look (and feel) Beautiful”
Absolutely love this. Sound advice. Thanks